Sunday, December 19, 2010

So, I guess I should write this...

In any case.  The semester has been rather hectic, thus the not updating thingy.  I've done several things I'm rather proud of.  First, I got an A in graphics (yay!), and second, I got a solo in my a cappella group. 


So, my own critique.  I really hate my high notes.  I'm seriously thinking about getting voice lessons to 1) work on my low range, and 2) learn how to use my high range a little better.  It's also unfortunate that the syllable that the high note is on is "li".  So yeah...

But I liked most of the song :D

Thursday, December 16, 2010

A greatest fear

As the semester closes, and my friends start heading home, I'm hit again with one of my biggest fears: being alone. I can't help but want to be with other people, even if they're just silently studying, ignoring everything else around them. I believe this is why I have a compulsive need to work in the lounge. I just don't want to be alone.

Even at the airport, where I know nobody, I feel more comfortable than I do when my dorm is practically empty. At least there's life around me, and I can feel involved in something, even if it is only sitting together at an airport.

This is why I hate the end of the semester, more than anything. At home, my parents or my sister are usually around. During the semester, there's bound to be somebody just hanging out. Just being completely utterly alone is terrifying.

Along with that is my fear of wide open spaces. It's all so empty, without anyone anywhere. Terrifying.

Thursday, October 21, 2010

To grad school our not to grad school

The answer my parents want for me is obvious. They wasn't new to go to grad school. But now with my first job offer in, I have to say that I'm not that sure. Grad school is great and all, esp since I wasn't too teach, but at the same time, this time next year I could be making money! That's not something I can be sure that I can let go of.

Back to the question of money though. I definitely feel that I put too much emphasis on money. But at the same time, I love the things you can buy with money a little too much. On the other hand, if I put or off for another year or so for grad school, my starting salary should be higher. But that's another year!


It's also bad of me to be complaining since so many of my friends are having trouble finding jobs. I feel like a bad person now.
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Thursday, October 14, 2010

Things to complain about

I found that I like complaining. About people, about classes, about items, everything. So this is going to be a post that's filled with complaints.

First off, my arm hurts. I just got my flu shot today, and my arm really really hurts. Like, I can't lift it up above 90 degrees from my body without it screaming in pain. Even at rest it hurts like hell. *cries*.

Second. My lab partner. One of them, at least. Mark just doesn't seem to know how to do things right. Earlier on in the year, we had an assignment, so the 4 of us say, ok, Sunday at 1 in the student center. Leah has a personal emergency, so she couldn't make it. Ok, the three of us will meet. Then Mark doesn't show up. He emails me and George at 1.30 ish saying, oh, he can't make it. Talk about irresponsible. Ugh. He also has the lab notes for this week and the lab writeup is due tomorrow at 10 am, and it's just like. uh... you were supposed to copy them ages ago and give them to us like... Monday or something? Hello! The rest of us did that, why can't you?

Third. Syncopasian. I love my a cappella group, don't get me wrong, but as time passes, I get more and more frustrated. The most irritating thing is that I can't seem to get a solo, even a very minor one, unless it's where they need someone to sing above a high G. Last time I auditioned for something, I didn't even get -comments- from the group. There were 4 of us auditioning for the solo, and Gloria and I get glossed over so they could argue between Adrianna and Diana. Don't get me wrong, they're really great singers, but I feel sad that I don't even get critique, so I don't know what to change. That, and both of them have had -multiple- solos with this group, and I've had 1... only because nobody else liked the song. We chose that song last minute to fill up our program. Seriously. I feel so jilted sometimes. It's especially hard, since my voice range isn't very large on the lower end, so there are many songs I simply -cannot- sing. *sigh* ohwell.

Forth. My arm still hurts. *cries*

Fifth. M.Eng. I really want to get a masters, but at the same time, I'm sick of all the fuss. Since I don't actually know if I'm doing it yet, I can't give a definite answer to many people who are asking me for interviews. I know that if I go in as a full time, I'd have better chances, but I don't want to tell them, oh, I want to work for you full time, and then, if I get into the program, say, oh, I just want to intern there. It doesn't quite work that way.


So that's what's going on now, besides other drama in the wing I live in.

At least no more stalkers? (I think....)

Thursday, September 30, 2010

New Phone

ASo here I am trying it out. It is a smartphone, the first one I've had, so please bear with me here. I am blogging using the phone while I wait for a class that is using the lab to leave.....

In any case. I got a Samsung captivate, and I am already in love. It is a little larger than I expected but that is ok.

I already dled a bunch of apps (like the one I am using to post this). Let me tell you. This is a little odd...
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Monday, September 20, 2010

I'm back?

Maybe. I'm going to try in any case.

In the past few (er more than a few) days, I've done quite a lot. I did Syncopasian auditions. I watched Wicked. I got a potential research job. And I went on Syncopasian Retreat.

By a few days, I guess I mean, since school started again.

Let's start from the top of the list.

Syncopasian auditions. were. hell. Ok, so the first day of auditions, we were there from 8 am to around 9? Auditions only lasted till 7, but then we had to decide on callbacks, and there was drama. By drama, I mean arguments over who to take. Most were rather clear cut, but there were some that were hell. We ended up deciding to take 14? I think for callbacks. That's 4 more than last year. And they were all very very strong candidates. We ended up getting 5 new members! Yay! 4 guys and 1 girl. So we're kinda more balanced now, which is always a good thing.

But before that. I decided to get donuts for the rest of the group, since dunkin donuts was supposed to be open at 8. Guess what didn't open until 9? Sorry guys. But donuts were nice.

Next! Wicked. It was really really awesome. By that I mean I was a little blown away by how -blond- Glinda was. Kevin was right. Glinda is so blond. So blond. Insert hand motions here. But the thing is, I thought that the Wizard moved a lot like Kevin. So Kevin is now: Dr. Justin Beiber Wizard Who. Congrats.

So apparently, I'm not going to be doing research on updating GPS with respect to traffic conditions! This will be great. And the prof. wants me to buy an Android phone. No biggie. XD I'm perfectly ok with that, since he's going to be paying for the phone itself.

Syncopasian retreat was interesting. We learned Dim Sum Girl and did auditions. Didn't get through all 3 songs we wanted to audition, but oh well. What I did want to mention is that I'm a little bitter. It seems that every time people audition, we give out critique and where to change things to make the chances of getting the next audition higher... except me. I got no discussion whatsoever. You know, that kind of hurts. Really. Beyond that, retreat was quite awesome.

So I'm basically caught up now, right?

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Feet. Pain.

It's kind of odd that my first blog in a while is titled this. But it is true. My feet hurt.

As a group of twelve, we went to watch Wicked, which was amazing, by the way. So... I took the opportunity to get a little dressed up, and put on my heels. They're actually quite comfortable shoes... until you try to run with them. Now, I have four blisters, two on each foot. Make that at least four blisters. Because I think there's another spot that is either a very thick blister, or is forming a blister.

Oh. And I was judged. On the train ride back, I sang a part of a song that I liked, but couldn't remember the words. There were two men across from us, and I felt their judgment. One of them, apparently, played guitar in the orchestra for Wicked. The other male was... happy? I don't really know. But apparently, it was a 'good judgment' instead of 'bad judgment'... but I don't like being judged!

We ended up taking the Saferide to 77 mass ave, but then walking back the rest of the way, since we just missed Cambridge West Saferide. Sad. Feet.

Saturday, August 28, 2010


I've been helping out at REX for the past few days... and will be for a few days. All I have to say is that I still have a box and a half to unpack.

So I've been pretty tired. I mean it. Sleep. I took a -nap- today after one of the events. Did you know that your hands get really really black when you're tossing charcoal into a grill from the side? Well, they do. And fire is hot. Obviously.

So as you can tell, I am not that coherent, really. But tomorrow's another day. First syncopasian rehearsal after the summer... and I don't know where my Syncopasian binder is.

Oh, by the way. My charger died. So this morning, I brought my charger and my laptop all the way to MicroCenter, and turns out, I had to buy a new charger. It was 90 something bucks. So I'm pretty sad. Expensive! It had better work. The workers there laughed at my old iPod.... I don't quite know how to feel about that, since the workers were old balding men with white hair. Inadequate? Sad? Amused? I don't know.

Oh! And there's a new Next House 4w web site! Yay Shankari for being absolutely awesome!

Friday, August 27, 2010

On Blogging

So... I haven't been posting every day. I am so sorry. I can't even blame being back at school. But, I've been sleeping a lot, and exercising, and playing games with my friends.

So what -have- I been up to? I've been playing a lot of smash, cards, fire emblem, and mahjong. And you know what I realized? I am horrible at games that require any chance. Like, if the crit percent is 10 and the percent of being hit is 40, well, Nephenee will get hit. And she will be crit-ted. And she will die. And people ask why I like mages so much.

And if I just need that one tile to make an absolutely amazing hand, well, all versions of it are stuck in the dead wall.


So that's what I've been up to. Other than being sore and tired, that is. My shoulders will never be the same.

Thursday, August 26, 2010

Exercise WIN!

So, this is actually 'yesterday's' post. But I'll include some of today in it too.

I convinced some of my friends to exercise with me! By some, I mean there were 6 of us in the exercise room. There were 'steps' thingies (don't quite know what they're called), a treadmill, an exercise bike, and an erg machine.

Let's just say that my legs are dead, and my shoulders are really sore now.

So today, most of us went swimming. It was a little less 'hardcore' (as hardcore as us out of shape people can get) as yesterday, but somehow, I feel a lot more tired than I did yesterday. Like, I seriously feel limp right now. I was playing smash not too long ago, and, well, let's just say my arms were too tired to really have quick reactions (that's my excuse!)

But in any case, so far, so good!

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

My head -really- hurts.

So I'll post tomorrow. Sorry guys.

Tuesday, August 24, 2010


I am back at MIT everyone!

So after I got back, it was a bit of a of a scramble for all my boxes. First off, we didn't know where they were. But! I'm mostly unpacked now.

It feels so weird being back at MIT. Like, I guess I got used to it being quiet, mostly. Or being used to particular sounds. But here, I'm sitting in the lounge, and there are people, and it's loud and happy.

And there's food.

I didn't eat too much of it! I swear! I was good!

So tomorrow, I'm going to go out and buy some necessities and then like, exercise or something. I promise.

So. A little about my plane ride, which is basically all of today other than unpacking. It was rather standard, and I sat next to an Asian man who worked for Cisco and the window.

So I looked out the window on the landing... and all I see is clouds. So I can see the wing (because I sat basically on top of it), and that's about it. And we finally break the clouds... and OMG THERE'S THE GROUND!

Quite literally. A few seconds after I can actually -see- the ground, we hit the ground. It was kind of crazy, and kind of scary. If I ever had to pilot this plane, well... let's just say, I don't want to -drive- with that kind of visibility, let alone pilot a -plane- with so many more people's lives on the line.

Respect to the pilot, man.

Monday, August 23, 2010

Last Post in Cali for the summer

Well, as I sit here, curled around a pillow, whimpering from menstrual cramps, I reflect back on this summer, and all the good habits I now have, and hopefully will (but probably will not) keep during the school year.

First: eating well. I can't really say this is a habit, since it was mostly enforced by my mom. But the whole not eating a lot, and not eating much sweets has changed my taste a little, I guess. I find myself craving, not chocolate (gasp), but a banana. I need to get my head screwed on right. (although I do want chocolate now. Ow.....)

Second: Contacts. I wore contacts practically the entire summer. And I'm really really hoping to continue this during the school year, since it'll force me to wake up just a little earlier. And hopefully I won't fall asleep after putting contacts in. I used to fall asleep after rolling over and putting my glasses on, so... I'm hoping that just getting the cold contact onto my eye will wake me up.

Third: Exercise. I know I complain about exercising a lot. I really do hate exercise. But at the same time, I lost over 15 pounds this summer because of good eating habits and exercising. So I'm hoping that I can get out to the pool once or twice a week and swim for about an hour. Or perhaps just use the treadmill for about an hour twice a week. Anyone want to go with me? We can exercise together! And hopefully my determination to do this won't flag! (again)

Well, that's the top three that I kind of want to keep going. So wish me luck! And try to remind me of them when you see me going against them.

Sunday, August 22, 2010


As some of you may know, I attended my violin teacher's wedding today. It was, let's just say, quite different from the last wedding I attended (my youngest uncle's), which was held in Taiwan.

First off, venue. My violin teacher's Christian, so it makes sense for her wedding to be at a church. My uncle's wedding was in a hotel restaurant. I'll say quite honestly that I think I prefer the restaurant. As an attendee, at least. The seats were a lot more comfortable, for one.

One of the main difference (other than what people said, as a priest and a regular guy says different things) was who said them. At this wedding, it was just the priest talking. At my uncle's, parents talked, friends talked, basically, people who actually knew the people. Granted, they didn't do the ceremony, but it was still nice.

Another one is that we all sat in the church, waiting for pictures to be taken. At my uncle's wedding, we all just started eating right afterward (as the food was right there, and didn't come late from the restaurant like it did at my teacher's wedding). As someone on a forced diet, I hated that hour wait.

Speaking of food, the catering was a little better at my uncle's wedding too, but I think that might be because this is my violin teacher's second wedding, and she probably didn't feel the need to have it be completely ostentatious.

I met some of the other students, some I knew, and some I should've known, and it was pretty interesting talking with them. Poor Andrew. He started learning violin from our teacher since I was two. He kept saying throughout the dinner how he felt old now.

Now the embarrassing part. Our teacher came, and we took pictures... and then she dragged me away. Apparently she decided to show me off. "Look at Tiffany, I taught her since she was 7! She goes to MIT now, and can sing, play violin, and play piano. And she's really pretty!" And I'm just standing there going: "uh.........." and trying to hide. What do you do in a situation like this?

In particular, she showed me off to her sister-in-law (I think) and her niece, who can't be more than 7 years old (she was a cute flower girl). And told her niece that she should grow up to be like me. Honestly, knowing myself, I'm not sure if that's a good thing.

By the way, what significance does "Alpha Omega" in Greek letters have? It was hanging on one side of the... front area, with "I am" on the other side.

(P.S. I had something completely different in mind to write about, but I thought of it on the car ride there... and completely forgot it by the time I got back. That sucks.)

A Good Book

Or how to ruin it.

So there are certainly many good classics out there.  Gone with the Wind, Adventures of Huckleberry Finn, Frankenstein, etc.  And there is one surefire way to destroy these books.  Make them required.  As I sit here, I listen to my sister complain about how boring the summer reading is, and how much she hates the mythology book she has to read.  Now, when I did that reading, I loved the book, but that's because I'm a huge lover of Greek mythology.  But I also read the book with the mindset of "Oh, this stuff is cool" rather than "Ugh, required reading," which I think makes all the difference.

This post isn't really about books.

When doing something becomes a chore, I think we tend to go through it quite mechanically rather than enjoying what could be an interesting experience.  For example, now that I'm not taking piano lessons, I find myself pretty excited to sit in front of a piano and sight read it.  I don't have to sit there and plod through the piece to get it perfect, memorize it, and present it to a teacher.  It is no longer a chore.  Which is a pity, since now I actually don't have anyone guiding me, my piano skills are deteriorating quite quickly.  Same with my violin. 

And I'm sure that my new obsession, makeup, would be a lot more boring if I had to attend a class or something on the different colors, makeup brushes, and application techniques. 

Things that are a hobby are just so much more interesting, even if they'll become boring the moment you put them in a classroom setting.  Quite honestly, reading The Odyssey in high school was really boring.  But I've reread it since (call me crazy), and I really liked it.  I also hated reading Great Expectations back in middle school.  I haven't read it since, because I got so bored by it.  Well, I haven't actually asked anyone who didn't read it in class if they liked it, but it has to be a classic for a reason, right?

Saturday, August 21, 2010


Not mine parents, actually. So my manager for the summer has two daughters, both in high school. In his 'goodbye, it was great working with you' email to me, he wrote in a P.S. that he would be asking me for help with his daughters' college counseling.

And I find that rather amusing. All I can really say is what I did, and what I remember from my own college counselor, which isn't much, but I guess every parent wants every resource possible for their children, even former interns who might have the barest hint of an idea of what colleges want.

And so that got me to thinking. My manager only knew me or a short time, and we've had three long discussions total. But he was willing to open this line of communication for his children. (Granted, I think we got along pretty well as well, so it could be that.) What else would parents do for their children?

I know that my dad has expressed an interest in opening a consulting firm instead, or even just retiring, but to put me and my sis through school he's still working at that job. I know my mom drops basically everything to drive me and my sis around to all our events (mostly me) and extra curricular activities (my sis, obviously). Both of them take time out to help us with our work (especially my dad, since my work is now college level, and sometimes I just can't get a hold of my TA's).

Well, it's completely out of season, but I am thankful for all that my parents have done for me. And I wish good luck to my manager and his daughters!

Friday, August 20, 2010

It's a Gift to be Simple

So, I said that this blog wasn't going to be of rants, and complaints, and it won't be. But this post will start as one.

So I was accused of being simple, with low EQ, today. Apparently, because I don't think of plots within plots within plots for my friends' actions and words, I'm simple. So I "can't think that everyone is as simple as you" when I do things, and post things on this blog, and such.

That got me to thinking. What's wrong with being simple? I don't have a guilty conscience about my actions, so why should I worry about how my friends read into my actions? If they take offense with some of my words, I'd hope that my friends will come to me, and ask me about the truth, and all will be resolved. (Especially since I'm not the best with words.)

Yes, I take the face value of people's words and actions. They do something, say something, I won't try to figure out what they mean under those actions, those words. Is that so wrong?

As the song goes: "It's a gift to be simple, it's a gift to be free." Ok, fine, they most likely are talking about something completely different. But I'm quite happy being simple, thank you very much.

So I guess, in conclusion for this post, if I ever say or do something that offends you, or you might think there's a second meaning in, just ask me. Most likely, there isn't. Really. I am quite simple to figure out. This puzzle only has one piece.

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Waxing. Or what we do for beauty

Who decided that girls should have no hair on their arms and legs? Ow. Ow. Ow.

So, I'm getting professional (read: JCPenny) photos taken tomorrow, and my mom decided that I should have my arms and legs waxed for it (read: sis and mom dragged me to my bed and sat there until I said, ok fine, and took my pants off. That doesn't sound right....).

So, I had my legs waxed. And we ran out of wax. We go out and buy some, and by the time we got back, my dad was home, and I needed to get my arms done. Every time my dad walked by my room, -he- screamed, as if in pain. Way to go dad XD.

And that got me thinking about what we do to 'look good' or something. I know I've started paying more attention (way too much attention) to makeup and (to a lesser degree) fashion. I still hate high heels. But every once in a while, I don't mind wearing them to look not only taller, but also a little more cultured. But they hurt.

And when I got my hair done up in a bun for both proms, it hurt getting all those bobby pins and rubber bands in. And yet, I did it, and enjoyed the results every time.

But who decides these things are beautiful? According to psychology (and my somewhat rusty memory), the most beautiful is the average of everyone we see around us (facially at least). So why do women do these things to themselves?

Beats me. But I still do it. Waste money on makeup, suffer (somewhat silently... ok, fine, not so silently) through waxing, and stumble around with high heels.

I think we're a masochistic race...

Summer almost over!

One week until I go back to MIT. It's a little sad. I spend most of the school year a little homesick, wanting mom's cooking, and stuff. But now, at the end of summer, I really really want to get back to MIT.

It's not that I'm sick of home. All in all, home's pretty great. But I do miss a lot of things about MIT. The second biggest is probably the freedom of movement. (Biggest is, obviously, friends, so I won't mention that in detail.) I love nor-cal, don't get me wrong, but it's so hard to -get- anywhere. For someone (finally) used to the subway system and the bus routes (kinda), I come home, and I'm trapped here, unless someone wants to drive me anywhere. The nearest BART station (that's our public transportation) is 15 minutes drive away. There is a bus system, but I think the bus comes around to the bottom of my hill about once... an hour. Basically, I never see the bus, and I never see anyone waiting for the bus.

Another thing I miss is my room there, actually. It's smaller than my room at home (of course), and not as furnished, or nice, or anything, but I do like my room there. It's cozy, and I know where everything is. Of course, having less things there helps out with that quite a bit.

And of course the food. I love my mom's cooking. I don't mind eating it every day. I just wish there was more of it. Honest. So my mom's put me on a diet since I got home. It worked, I've lost some... well, many many pounds since I got home, but at the end of the day, I'm still hungry, and I really want some rice. Of course, the freedom to choose what I want to eat will be nice too.

Tuesday, August 17, 2010


So, I forgot to blog yesterday. Bad baaaad me.

Well, I was going to talk about comedians yesterday, and somehow forgot to post. But here we are.

I don't mind watching comedians (or comedy series). Quite honestly, I don't, or at least, I don't if they're good comedians. However, more and more these days, you see the type that just uses crude humor.

For example, I was sitting in the ER waiting room, and there was a show on TV. This talk host (that's what I assumed he was, at least) introduced a man he called the 'pit bull of comedy'. This so called pit bull of comedy... sucked. For me, at least. Every single joke was crude. He talked about porn. He talked about drugs. And he talked about watching porn because his wife wouldn't do those things with him. You don't bring your wife in when you're talking about porn! Just not done!

And so, he went on and on. It was just an introduction, to promote his movie, or something. But quite honestly? I don't find myself compelled to watch his movie, watch his shows, or to even have anything to do with him ever again.

But the thing is, most run of the mill comedians are like that nowadays. The man who went before Russel Peters talked about vaginae and farts. If you youtube 'comedian', you'll probably find someone who mentions sex and porn and drugs. Unless you find a female comedian.

I don't know if I'm just biased, or unlucky, or what. But it seems to me that most male comedians seem stuck in this crude humor. I don't mind some crude humor. I guess some people like that. But I don't want male locker-room talk. I won't pay for that.

So has humor become spit by gender?

Monday, August 16, 2010

Scott Pilgrim vs. The world

I believe that that was the most bizarre movie I have ever seen. I won't argue against the amusement factor, but I will say that it was one of the odder things I've seen lately.

Seriously, traveling through some kind of mental highway? And then 'killing' people made them burst into coins? And then 'power of love' or 'power of self-worth'?

I know that it was based off a comic, or something, but I can't help but want to slam my head into the wall. The movie wasn't bad, don't get me wrong here, but it wasn't... the greatest movie I've ever seen.

Although I will say that I do like that girl's weapon. Roxy, I think her name was? Long sharp pointy chain. Ooooh ahhhh. And of course Ramona gets a giant mallet from.... WEAPON-SPACE?!

So it was a combination of sci fi (tiny tiny portion) and comic book WTF-ness. Well, it wasn't too bad, I guess...

Saturday, August 14, 2010

Let's go to.... the hospital!

So, here's the reason I didn't manage to post yesterday. I was going to go out to eat with two of my friends, since one was going off to the Caribbean for vacation, but the other friend got -really really- bad cramps. So instead, we bought some food, and went over to her house to eat. We stayed and chatted a bit as we waited for my mom to come pick me up... and then her stomach started to hurt really badly, and she started to hyperventilate.

Of course, there I am panicking a little, and my mom shows up. We get her onto the car, and drive to the emergency room, after calling her neighbor to find out where the nearest hospital was. We get there, the nurses get her to stop hyperventilating, and I basically collapse. Now I was relatively calm the entire trip there, but once she was led into the side room by a nurse, I broke down and cried, I was so worried. I don't quite understand how the body functions, but at least I was able to be calm enough to dig through my friend's wallet to find ID and such before breaking down into useless me. Thank god my mom was there.

So that was last night. I believe I was there in the Emergency Room waiting area until about 1.50 am? or something close to that. My mom drove me home, and I passed out as my mom goes back to check on my friend. (My friend's parents are in China.)

I wake up around 10.30 am, and learned that my friend didn't have really bad menstrual cramps, she had appendicitis. Thank god we went over to her place for dinner. So that's where I was from around 4 until ... 10.30? today. Even with sleeping last night, I'm completely exhausted, and can only wonder how my friend feels now.

Darling, hope you get better soon! <3

Sorry for brief brief brief post. I'm off to bed.

Words of Wisdom? I have none.

I'm so sorry for not posting yesterday, so I shall post twice today.

So, yesterday was my last day of work, so I guess I should write about it a little. It was mostly a normal day, except we had a group meeting in the afternoon that turned out to be a goodbye party. With a chocolate and coffee cake. Yummy! And then my manager's manager came, because my manager was in India, and of course, we asked for a few words of wisdom. And this is what he said.

"Words of wisdom? I have none."

Great. Probably the best words of wisdom I had ever heard.

And then at the end of the party, we asked for inspirational words. And this is what he said.

"It's impossible. But try your best."

Somehow I'm thinking the inspirational words and the words of wisdom should have been switched around. But either way, the words were quite amusing, and I'll probably remember them for a while yet.

Friday, August 13, 2010

The Problem with Purple Eyeshadow

Don't get me wrong, I love my new purple eyeshadow, but it is very difficult to do anything with it right now. I only have the one color, obviously, plus my purple eyeliner, and both are from urban decay. I love them both, they're highly pigmented, and go on really smoothly. I love urban decay.

However! It is a very difficult color to pull off! If I put on too much, well, I don't want to look like I'm going clubbing when I'm at work, you know. If I put on a little, but not enough, I look like I have a bruise. If it accidentally smears under my eyes, it looks like I just haven't gotten any sleep in the past decade.

So, it turns out I can't really wear this color at work. But that's ok. I still have my browns. But for today, I'm at work with a pretty nicely done look in purple... but it's one that isn't quite suitable for work.

How sad. This is my last day at work, too. Well, at least I'll look pretty nice (IMO) at dinner XD

Thursday, August 12, 2010


So yes, this is a post about blogging. I started this blog on a whim, partially because I was bored, and partially because I just wanted to have a place I can rant in. Or discuss my obsessions in. Whichever. But in the past few days of forcing myself to post once a day, I've learned something else about blogging.

It gets me in a better mood before I sleep. Usually, I'll post during the day, but sometimes, I'll have nothing really to say, and put it off. By the end of the day, I still have nothing positive to say, but still, I have to think of something to post here.

I made a vow to myself that this would not be the place to air my dirty laundry. In other words, no rants about parents or sisters or money, or anything negative like that. Each post will be something (somewhat) insightful, not just a petty rant. And so, at the end of the day, I'm forcing myself to write -something- before I go to sleep, and I search my mind, and think... and I finally get something. And it isn't negative. Since this happens right before I sleep, well, at least I can say my last thoughts before I fall asleep are relatively pleasant. Which is better than going to sleep mad at my family.

Wednesday, August 11, 2010


So, I picked up my old violin today (my sister's using it now), and I just kinda played whatever came to mind first. And played. And played some more. And then I remembered why I even learned violin in the first place. It wasn't to play those big orchestra pieces, or anything, although orchestra was fun. It was because my dad played violin, and I loved listening to the melody line of a song as he played it.

Cheesiness aside, though, I realized that I still play better when I'm playing something by ear than when I'm trying to read off a piece of music. Which is a little sad. I've been playing (or singing) music since I was five, and I still suck at sight reading, and would rather play by ear, even if it wasn't the melody line.

Regardless, I had fun today, just fiddling with my old violin, trying not to make my own eardrums bleed from how off-pitch my notes now were. But now, the pads of my fingers are hurting a little from sliding on those thin metal strings. I'm pathetic.

Seriously. I've played violin for so many years, I go to college, and now my fingers are hurting a little from this? How sad.

What have I Become?! (horror)

So, some of you know that I've been on a marathon (ish) diet-exercise plan with my mom to lose about 15 pounds this summer to get a Coach purse.  And some of you know that I finally made that goal (post exercise) tonight.  Honestly, I'm expecting to gain at least .5 pound by tomorrow morning, as my weight settles down and I get rehydrated, but I don't care.  I got a Coach purse, and it is adorable.

So I got my new purse, and I'm putting things in it (duh), so I won't have to shuffle things around every time I want to go out.  Among those things are my wallet, my cell phone, and, of course, my makeup.  Not all of it, as it obviously won't fit, but some of the staples, like my eye shadow primer, a compact mirror, a small eyeshadow palette, and a lip gloss.

As I did this, I realized just how much makeup I have (compared to how much I had at the beginning of college), and then I realized how much I have splurged on makeup.

Splurging, for me, is a guilty pleasure.  I really only splurge on makeup (and occasionally Woot! T-shirts), because that's the only thing my mom doesn't really buy for me.  So makeup is the one thing I can buy without feeling too guilty because I already -have- it, but I still feel guilty for spending unnecessary money.  Right now, I'm scrambling to pay for housing, food, and textbooks, but every once in a while, I'll splurge on makeup.  Because if I'm having a shitty day, at least I'll look nice.

Of course, after these thoughts, I just realized how -girly- I've become.  Let's go way back into elementary school.  Most of my friends were male.  I played wall ball with my guy friends during recess.  Now into middle school.  I went to all the dances, yes, but instead of, well, dancing, I was outside arm-wrestling with some of my guy friends.  Even in high school, I disdained makeup.  Actually, I was more than a little prejudiced against the people who wore makeup every day, believing them to be people who only cared about appearance and being popular.  Well.  What does that make me now?

My more literate and eloquent friend puts it perfectly in her blog post:

Monday, August 9, 2010

Jury Duty

So, I was assigned to jury duty on August, 3.  So why didn't I blog about it until now?  Quite frankly, it's because I forgot that I had jury duty.  Which means I didn't call in, or anything.  So yesterday night, my mom goes "Aiya~ You forgot you had jury duty!"  And of course, I panicked.  I didn't want to pay any fines, or go to jail, or anything.  So today, at work, I called in.

And waited.

And waited a little more.

Who knew that just calling in to see if your group was called was this difficult?

So I waited a little longer until the lines cleared up.  I gave them my participant number, and was promptly told that my group wasn't called, and I was good to go for a year.

Seriously?  Ok, I may have exaggerated the time I waited a little, but when you're really nervous about things like this, time tends to crawl.  I'm glad that I didn't get in trouble, but that seemed quite anticlimactic.

In any case.  They send these summons a month in advance.  I don't remember things that long!  I knew in the back of my mind that I had jury duty at some point, but I never really remembered when it was.  Why couldn't they, I don't know, mail another notice, or email, or call?  They have my personal data from the DMV, after all.

Just frustrated by how this thing runs.  If you never got a driver's license, you don't get called!  Maybe I should've done that just to avoid the headaches that are driving and jury duty.  I'll live... in Boston or something, where there's plenty of public transportation.

Sunday, August 8, 2010

Theater Festival (and various other San Fran activities)

So I went to San Fran today with a friend to go to the Theater Festival... and we found; a merry go round, an old people's choir, a clown, a playground, and a lot of little kids.  Let's just call it a complete disappointment.

So instead of sticking around, we decided to wander around San Fran.  Of course, we couldn't really get anywhere without paying more money (or walking very far), so we just went to the nearby places.  We went into Walgreen's, the Apple store, and the Ferrari store. 

I don't remember seeing a Walgreen's in Boston, so I just wanted to see the difference between it and CVS, which is all over the place in Boston.  Well, the main difference is that Walgreen's has a lot more food.  Like, bread.  And donuts.  So that was pretty boring.  As we exited, we saw a few gift cards, including a $50 iTunes gift card. 

I don't understand why people give gift cards.  I'd rather just have the money, honestly.  I know it's supposed to be more 'thoughtful', but... Unless I'm an alcoholic or something, and you're afraid I'm going to spend the money on more alcohol, I think I know how to spend money.  Thanks.  And it won't be on money, which I can probably download elsewhere.

We went into the Apple store.  My friend's working for Microsoft this summer, and he called it "a big block of douchiness."  That just had to be repeated.  So we went in, and they had this glass staircase.  We went up, and I almost freaked out.  I already have enough trouble with stairs.  These stairs were transparent, and they bounced a little with each step.  Basically, keep moving, and move fast.  So the Apple store had this auditorium like thing, where a worker was explaining features of iTunes.  We stood there for a moment just to listen and he was explaining the 'get info' function.  And we both just kinda laughed.  That function's been in since the first iteration!

We skipped across the street after that to the Ferrari store.  Everything there was -so- expensive.  There was this adorable teddy bear, with a small leather jacket, a helmet, and goggles, and guess how much it was.  $40.  Seriously.  Because I have that much money to spend on a teddy bear.  Their sunglasses were $175-$400.  Eek!

On the way back... we played minesweeper.  Many many times.  I failed so miserably.  XD

Saturday, August 7, 2010

My Greatest Sin

Ok, perhaps not my greatest sin. But definitely ranking up there. I went to ULTA with my mom today. It's like Sephora, but cheaper. I was going to buy black eyeshadow from NYX, but my mom was like, no. Because everyone sells black, and she wants me to wait for a sale at Macy's or something, to get free samples and extras.

In any case, somehow we wandered over to the Urban Decay section. They didn't have everything that Urban Decay sells, which is a little sad, but we did look at eyeshadows. And I ended up buying a really pretty purple one called Freakshow. I was going to get Ransom, and honestly, it's one that I've wanted for a long time, but then I saw Freakshow, and we compared the two of them. Ransom is a really nice purple with a blue undertone, but Freakshow is just a nice pure purple. I put both of them on, and honestly, Freakshow was prettier. We had a $3.50 coupon for ULTA, so I bought it. Horrible horrible me. But oh my god it's such a pretty color.

So Freakshow comes in this little case, with a mirror attached to it. I actually really like the case, because it doesn't open very easily (like, with just a flick of the thumb), which would've made me a little uneasy. However, on the top of the lid, they added a plastic covering, which isn't actually secured onto the case by any real method. Sometimes it doesn't want to stay on, which makes opening it a little odd sometimes.

The case.  Looks small next to my hand, but hey.

And of course:
For some reason, the color looks a lot more blue under this lighting.  It should be more of a royal blue.  Then again, my hand looks oddly pink as well. 

Well, that's all.


So, as most of you know, my mom's been obsessed with my weight... not just recently, but throughout my high school and college career. That's fine. I can deal with her nagging. But why is -my- image (skinny or otherwise) so important to her?

A similar question could be asked regarding my current obsession (and yes, it is an obsession) to makeup. I love makeup. The colors. How they look on me. But at the same time, I remember a time I hated makeup, and I thought badly of the girls who wore makeup every day. I'm not talking an eyeliner and a lip gloss. I'm talking full on foundation, eyeshadow, etc. etc. But now, I wear makeup almost every day. Granted, usually it's just an eyeliner and lip gloss, and sometimes, when I'm feeling particularly depressed and want to cheer myself up, eyeshadow. So how has -my- self image changed with this?

I remember getting really pissed at Cyril at the beginning of our relationship, because he always wanted me to wear contacts, wear nicer clothing, etc. And I felt like I was just a trophy girlfriend he could tote around. But now I try to do those things too. Weird.

But I think deep down, I'm still the same Kit who runs around laughing with friends, right?

(I recently read a friend's blog, and I found it funny that even now, almost 9 years after I first started roleplaying, I still refer to myself as Kit, my online nickname. Does that mean I haven't grown up? Or is my self image still Kit? Or am I, like she said, afraid of facing myself? But who's Kit? Is she a made up character? Or is she really me?)

Thursday, August 5, 2010

More Prop 8

I really tried. I really really tried. That is, to figure out the side of the National Organization for Marriage. I understand that she feels like she's being attacked, but all I get from this lady is that she's fat and rude. She keeps talking over the other two people, and honestly, she's not giving me a very good impression. She's just insulting the people who started the case. She insulted the very basis of American law, with the judge in the checks and balance. Because people are stupid sometimes. And she insulted the judge. Honestly, she's not making any friends. Judges choose how to do things in the court of -law-. Not opinion. Not prejudice. It's law.

It's not about 'gay marriage'. It's about the right to do what you want to do.
My mom is thankful that I didn't go to Berkeley. Apparently, I'm already too liberal, and she fears what would happen if I had gone to Cal. XD

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Prop 8 overturned!


I'm so happy right now. Of course, I'm a little slow and didn't find out about this when I got home and checked facebook, but in any case!

I never understood why people are against gay marriage. I understand that there's the whole Christian thing, but really, if you believe that gay people will go to hell, well, they'll go to hell married or not.

I always saw that marriage was an institution (for lack of a better word) that recognizes that two people are in love. Of course, there's always the arranged marriage, political alliance, etc. etc. but the basic premise is to join two people into a family. Who are we to say who can or cannot do that? Gay couples don't want to get married because of the -tax breaks-, I'm sure. They want a legal way to recognize their devotion to their partner.

I'm going to go through a few "legal" arguments against gay marriage, and try to tear them apart. All from this site:, and I'm... basically summarizing, I think, since our arguments against those arguments are quite similar.

1. Marriage is an institution between one man and one woman.
Says who? Religion. But wait, didn't we promise separation of religion and government? Hm...

2. Marriage is for procreation.
So... Old people can't be married. And those infertile. (And the child brides of history). Plus, who says? Once again, religion? Hm...

3. Same-sex couples aren't the optimum environment in which to raise children.
And yet, hookers, drug dealers, etc. all have the right to raise their children, unless they get convicted of something, and once they're out of jail, they're back with their kids. Doesn't quite hold water to me. What's wrong with homosexuals taking care of kids from bad homes, or basically from people who -cannot- for one reason or another, take care of their kids? As long as you love the child, it should be alright, right?

4. Gay relationships are immoral and violate the sacred institution of marriage.
Once again, says who? Religion? I'm sensing a disturbing trend here. So I just won't mention it again if I see something that can possibly be religion based.

5. Marriages are for ensuring the continuation of the species.
We are overpopulating the world as it is. Seriously.

6. Same-sex marriage would threaten the institution of marriage.
So people who -want- to get together and dedicate their lives to each other by way of -marriage- will... threaten the institution of marriage? Um... Please.

7. We shouldn't alter heterosexual marriage, which is a traditional institution that goes back to the dawn of time.
Tradition. How silly. If we held with tradition, we'll still be running around on horses, with girls locked up in castles while the guys kill themselves on each other's lances. Tradition needs to fold in the face of progress. Quite honestly, I wouldn't want to be bid off to some rich old bastard of a lord so my father could make some money.

8. Same-sex marriage is an untried social experiment.
Denmark. Go look it up. Seriously.

9. Same-sex marriage would start us down a "slippery slope" towards legalized incest, bestial marriage, polygamy and all manner of other horrible consequences.
You're afraid of what can happen, so you pull out the ridiculous. Actually, I've seen a news article where a boy had to marry a goat or a cow or something. but anyways. Back to Denmark. They seem fine.

10. Granting gays the right to marry is a "special" right.
Why? Everyone is equal, by our constitution. So why are gay's not allowed to marry? Why aren't they equal?

11. Churches would be forced to marry gay people against their will.
Then don't marry in a church. Plus, what does this have to do with law? Remember, separation of state and religion.

12. If gay marriage is legalized, homosexuality would be promoted in the public schools.
Why would it be promoted? I think love in general should be promoted. Back to Denmark.

13. Gay marriage and its associated promotion of homosexuality would undermine western civilization.
Hate to break it to you idiots, but hey, homosexuality's been around for ages. And how would allowing two people who love each other to marry undermine western civilization? I understand that it'll be just one more thing for conservatives in the mid-east to hate us (ok, I'm stereotyping here, but bear with me), and honestly, they already hate us for being the 'evil westerners' so I can't see how this will hurt.

14. If gay people really want to get married, all they have to do is to become straight and marry someone of the opposite sex.
They're gay. That's the end of it. Why, and how, would you suddenly turn from gay to straight? You love this person, you want to get married to that person. Why would you 'become straight' and marry someone of the opposite sex? It's rather ridiculous!

I don't believe that anyone truly -chooses- to be gay. Back in the day, you were vilified if you liked someone of the same sex, so I can't actually believe that it's something that people can -choose- to do.

Back to the Christian thing too. I don't want to sound like I'm anti-Christian or anything, because I'm anything but. However! If everything happens with with a plan, and God created all of us, etc. etc., then why can't they believe that God created homosexuals too? Perhaps as, oh, I don't know, let's toss something out there, population control! Yes, we're supposed to populate the earth, name everything. Yada yada ya. Well, we've populated the earth. Hell, overpopulated. And while we were at it, killed things that hasn't been named yet. So. If they can believe that there's no global warming because the natural disasters were caused by God's will, why can't they believe that? It seems that they just want to pick and choose. (I'm really sorry if you're Christian and reading this. I just had to get it off my back.)

(P.S. I can't believe how many times I had to censure myself for using the word 'like' in this post XD Too much California?)


Take a look. Laugh. And then turn away.

Jessie sent me this, and I realized how little TV I've been watching lately. Except for the movies. Lotsa movies.

So, let's do a quick rundown of what I've watched this summer.

Despicable Me
Princess and the Frog
West Side Story

Pretty good for someone who normally doesn't watch many movies. Just a lot of Family Guy.

Of the five, Inception was by far the best. And the one that made me go 'what the hell?' the most. Ok, false. West Side Story made me go 'what the hell' a lot too. Seriously. Ballerina gangsters?

Rent wasn't bad. The guy who played Roger was kinda cute. My sis agreed. XD

Monday, August 2, 2010

Support from my Family

Or rather, what to do when I have none.

In a particular case.

Very particular.

So I went to the Cisco Barbecue for the interns on Friday, a bit of a going away party. And met this guy. Who was pretty cool, if a little well... you'll see. So we have a raffle. Every one of us got an AMC movie ticket, and, predictably, I won nothing. Except the guy who was pretty cool turned out to be... not that cool.

Today at work, he friends me on facebook, and promptly IMs me through the Cisco network. How the hell he found my info working off just my first name and that I intern at Cisco, I don't know. I don't care. But honestly? Nice and pretty cool guy that he is, I'm slightly freaked. Especially since he started going "oh, you're cute" and "we should meet up and go watch a movie sometime."

I tell my family... and they laughed. *sigh*

Why can't I have the overprotective dad that bats the guys away from me with a baseball bat? Although, admittedly, that would make it hard to date at all. But still. Laughing at me? =.=; Yay.

Sunday, August 1, 2010

Pokemon MMORPG


Try the following site. Or don't. I actually don't know if it gives any viruses or anything. But here we go.

Like seriously. There is a pokemon MMORPG out there. I'm greatly amused, but at the same time, quite bemused. The site says that they're only -fans- of pokemon, with no connection to nintendo. But what kind of fans would -make- a game like this (the screenshots looked pretty legit), buy a server to host it on, and then pay for ads online (I found the link on, actually).

Some really dedicated (and crazy) fans, I guess.

And now, I just realized. It's basically the same thing with Some dedicated people put together an archive of fanfiction. And more. And more. With a server to host it on. And now, people are paying them to host the ads. But hey, everyone has to start somewhere.

My Room just got Feng-Shui'd

My dorm room, that is.

So apparently, anything I could've done wrong, I did wrong. One of my family friends came over last night to help me with the fengshui of my room, and she took a look at the floorplan, and was like, did you get sick a lot? With the sickness sticking in your chest? Now, I was sick basically -ALL- semester with a cough right down in my chest. I was, naturally, intrigued by her declaration. And so, she went on to explain the stuff as it related to my room.

First, my room wasn't in the correct -place- for my birth year's natural directions, which actually is East and South. Finally, I realize why I do better in those directions when I play Mahjong. And on top of that, there's a harsh line that cuts through my room, right through the middle, and where my bed was last year, thus the sickness in the chest (I don't quite get that part). Also, I put my fridge and my freezer -under- the bed, and I'm actually not supposed to be putting any electronics there. Oops.

So. I'm to move my bed to the -other- side of the room, sleep in the opposite direction, and put a bookcase there to block all the bad stuff, put my desk and dresser on the other side, and not study at my desk (Hey! I got an excuse to study in the lounge now! After all, fengshui says it'll be good!). On top of all this, I have to get a plant. A golden potho to be specific. A plant. Oh dear. I hope it doesn't die on me. I'll have to find a plant sitter during breaks (and remember to water it myself.)

Also, I'm supposed to stuff as much clothing into the closet as I can, and also put some of my electronics in my dresser, and put some more clothing in the drawer that'll go under my bed. I hope all this fuss will be worth it...

Friday, July 30, 2010

The Case against Heavy Makeup

I am a cosmoholic. I admit it. Is there a CAA or something? In any case, somehow my mom and I got into a discussion about makeup. In particular, heavy makeup. We started about talking about how I only have browns for my eyeshadow, and how that didn't quite cut it for parties or dances.

And then, my mom goes: "Why would anyone wear heavy makeup? Isn't it horribly inconvenient? After all, your boyfriend can't kiss you like that, because it'll mess up the makeup! Why would anyone like heavy makeup? Why would any guy like their girlfriend to have heavy makeup?"

I cracked up, naturally. I am a cosmoholic. I love makeup. I love buying makeup, and looking at all the colors. I admit it. But I also dislike heavy makeup. In the day, especially, I like making things look more natural, with a little edge. For parties and stuff, well, make it a little shinier. And so, I also dislike heavy makeup. But it was the first time I had ever heard -that- argument against heavy makeup. And so, I laughed.

Let's Do This

Alright, so I'm starting a blog. Yay. I'm not really sure what I should say here, but, you know what? That's ok.

I guess my first article should just be on what's going on recently. I'm interning at Cisco, which is totally cool. My manager's really nice, and, well, in my opinion, he's a really good manager. He makes sure that he has a meeting once a week (almost missed the first one because I didn't know), and beyond that, has one on one meetings with everyone, not just the interns, every once in a while just to check up on us. When the interns got there, he had projects ready for us, tailored to our personal interests, which I thought was pretty cool, especially since when I chose the group, I chose it because it was the only one without buzzwords in the description.

Ok, enough of that. Cisco is pretty cool and all, but it's not everything.

To everyday life.

I feel kinda bad. I just don't have that... urge to compulsively RP anymore. It's rather horrible! I'm not sure if it's the fact that I don't know the people I'm RPing with, or the posts are boring, or if RPing just isn't me anymore. But I feel bad for the people I'm in threads with. I try to post when I can, but sometimes, I just -stare- at the thread, go "I -need- to post" and then... check my email or something. Absolutely horrible.

What's really sad is that I really really miss MIT. I don't know if it's the college life, or if I just want to get away, but I think, overall, I had more fun last summer than I did this summer. I love my family, don't get me wrong, but sometimes it gets to be too much. Oh well. Don't have to pay for housing or food, which is nice. Very very nice.

Oh well. So that's it for the first post. Perhaps I'll have something more concrete later on.